Apr. 11, 2004 ~ For a friend
For a friend... again
Every year year at this time, a special friend is very much on my mind. This entry was written for her two years ago, and rather than linking to it... here it is. (Sorry, this is being posted two days late)
Apr. 09, 2002 ~ For a friend
So tomorrow is "the day." By the time you read this, it will already be the 10th, your time. I wonder if you are sleeping soundly, or if you're lying awake. I hope you're asleep, because I know this day is going to be a tough one. I don't wish for it to last a moment longer than necessary. Somehow I have this image of you writing a letter to your boy, telling him... so many things. How much you miss him, how you wish you could turn back the hands of time, how you would give anything to hold him in your arms again.
I cannot imagine. Can't even begin to know the depth of your pain. Have only an inkling of what it is like to lose a child. Has it been a year? A whole year has passed? How did you ever make it through it? Was it one minute, one hour, one day at a time?
It was such a shock, hearing the news. We, your friends, were stunned. Helpless. I think we, each in our own way, tried to help. But of course, there is really nothing that anyone can do or say to ease that kind of sorrow. I remember walking outside in the front pasture, listening to the singing of the birds, smelling the fresh, crisp air, enjoying the daffodils in bloom... and thinking, how can the world just go right on, oblivious, when everything has come crashing to a halt, for you. How could it be such a beautiful day, when it was filled with so much ugliness?
My heart ached for you. Broke for you. I hugged my boy extra hard.
Some questions have no answers; some stories have no end. But this is what I know... out of your horror there came some good. People rallied round; words were spoken which too often go unsaid. And when life presented us with our own personal challenges, I think a lot of us realized that those troubles weren't so bad, really.
I didn't quite know what to say then, except that I was so very sorry. And now, my friend... twelve months later...
my heart still breaks for you.
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