Jun. 08, 2003 ~ This is getting ridiculous
My husband used to say that Soldier Boy thought he was ten feet tall and bulletproof, back when our son was really a young boy. And I admit to feeling that way, too, when I was young. I used to think that if I took good care of myself, I would always be strong and healthy. But now it seems that it doesn't take much to cause pain or sickness, and once present, it takes much longer to heal than it once did. Today, it's almost as if every part of my body that has ever been sore or injured is acting up again. First the back, then the wrist and thumb, now the neck and a shoulder. I'm wondering if this is an example of the domino effect... of one thing being messed up and because of that, I'm sitting, standing, moving differently, hurting other things. Or is something else happening? Maybe I should at least have a few tests run. But the test results will probably just come back saying, "You're getting older... get over it!" Well, maybe that won't be written on the form, but that's what it will mean.
Admittedly, I'm getting a little down about this. It's a struggle to stay cheerful and optimistic on days when it seems like everything hurts.
I skipped a party last night because I was afraid people would hug me or be too rough, accidentally, and hurt my still sore back. And I thought about staying home from church today, but it was a special service, and I thought I could just slip in and sit in a chair at the back of the room with Husband (who's an usher) and all would be well. But someone came up to me, extended his hand, and without thinking, I shook it. He has a FIRM grip, and I cried out in pain. He was stricken. I was embarrassed. I assured him it wasn't his fault; my hand had been hurting but I forgot... I should not have shaken his hand. He apologized profusely, as did I. Husband pointed out afterwards that I must extend the other hand or speak up immediately.
Hours later, my hand still hurts.
Husband and I were standing in line at a sandwich shop this afternoon, when a friend of ours approached us. I had my sore hand and wrist covered up, and thought I was safe. But he reached around us to hug us both, and he squeezed my forearm (the sore one) so hard it brought tears to my eyes. Now, what are the odds of that happening? Anyway, that set me back a bit. The hand and wrist had been slightly better but now we're back to real pain. At times likes this I fear I'm not doing a good job of aging gracefully.
It's late afternoon and the wind has died down some, so I'm going to put on my hat and head outside to hug a horse or two. That always makes me smile. And right now I could use a laugh.
Later...
Instead of heading for the horses, Husband and I went for a little walk, just as the sun was setting. We visited with a neighbor, laughed a lot, and my spirits were lifted. It was the farthest I have walked in weeks! There is always hope. I did change a few things in this entry, deleted some things, added some others, but the overall grumbly tone is the same. Everyone is allowed an occasional glass of whine, aren't they?
On a cheerier note, Husband has never been able to roll his R's, which makes it tough to say some Spanish words. The kids and I have tried for years to show him how it's done -- we call it purring -- but no luck. He sputtered and spit and we stood back out of the way, while he didn't purr. Through the years he has tried time and time again, but he was still purr-impaired. We loved him anyway, of course. And then yesterday morning, lo and behold, something came from his mouth that sounded almost like a purr. It was shaky at first, but he kept at it until we can almost say he's got it. Almost. Then he forgot how. Just now, he remembered again, and was walking around the house, rolling his R's. A grown man, purring.
I guess you had to be there!
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