Jan. 28, 2003 ~ And more cats
For the first time since I can't remember when, Misha did not "purr me awake" this morning. He usually gets right up in my face and purrs in my ear, rubs against me, generally lets me know that it's time to rise and shine. So when he wasn't there, not anywhere on the bed, I had a sinking feeling that the worst had happened. I came wide awake and began looking for him straight away. There he sat on a living room chair, looking quite content and happy. Whew. I must remember to banish those thoughts of "the worst" happening, in this case and in other situations, too, because most of the time things really are okay. Most of the time all is well.
That said, I must admit that I really struggle with Soldier Boy being in Afghanistan. I have such a bad, bad feeling about him being there, being in the Middle East, and this whole political and war craziness... sometimes those frightened feelings catch me off guard. Tears will come unexpectedly, especially when I'm alone. When I realize what I'm feeling, I have to make an effort to shake it off. It doesn't do any good to worry. Doesn't help one thing.
On Saturday I woke during the night, thinking I heard Soldier Boy calling my name. "Mom!" he said, over and over again. Such was the illusion that I thought I heard this two or three times after I was fully awake. He didn't sound frightened or alarmed, just persistent, as if there was something he wanted to tell me. But then I guess I woke up enough to realize that it had to be a dream, and it stopped. I told Husband about it the next morning and he got very quiet. He hopes that it doesn't mean anything. I quickly assured him that it doesn't... sometimes a dream is just a dream. Probably just the result of wishful thinking. Wanting to hear his voice, so I did.
College Boy received a nice letter from Soldier Boy yesterday! Maybe there will be another letter to the family in today's mail? Or soon. But College Boy let us read his letter, and we all smiled big happy smiles. I was touched by some of the things Soldier Boy said to his brother, trying to encourage his efforts in school. Not one word of complaint about anything, just kind words and encouragement for his brother. And humor.
Cats again.
This morning I was able to put medicine in Blackie Cat's eye. She wasn't pleased, but she didn't bite or scratch. She seemed to know that I wasn't trying to hurt her. A bribe of tuna helped a lot, too.
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