Sept. 01, 2002 ~ The thing is,
my back feels "crunchy." Yes, that sounds odd. Feels strange, too. It started a few weeks ago, when I would sit for awhile... it felt like something shifted in my lower back. Actually moved. It hurt, just briefly, and then it was if the moving parts settled back into place, and all was well again. It was worse when I tried to stand up, that painful sensation of shifting, and sometimes I couldn't straighten up right away, but then something would "pop," or that's what it felt like, and I was fine. That stopped happening for awhile, but it started up again about ten days ago, and then recently, when that shifting thing happened, the parts didn't settle back into place. They're still wonky. That's my non-technical description. It doesn't feel like a muscle thing, and the doctor doesn't think so, either. Possibly a bone spur, slipped disc, or more likely, a worsening of an arthritic condition of the facet joints, tiny bones of the spine.
"Wait," the doctor says. "Try the steroids," he says. Waiting is hard, though. I just want someone to FIX IT. After the steroids, if no improvement, we go through the nasty round of tests again, with perhaps some nastier tests thrown in for good measure. When he says these things to me, I feel tired. I have waited for a while now. Have had worsening problems for about 7 years.
I think we may be dealing with two separate issues; a back problem, and something neurological. The neuro stuff drives me to distraction, because they can't explain what's happening. And it's a no-win situation. I hate not knowing, and I also don't want to know. That's crazy, no doubt. Or human. Doc says maybe the steroids will help the neuro problems, too. So why didn't we try this before?
I don't really want to have more tests. MRI's, blood work, etc.. (The "etc." worries me the most.) I've done it a few times now. They rule out the bad stuff, but no answers. Doc says that sometimes the tests can be repeated every year, with no answers, and then finally something will show up. Whatever. I hate the worry and the waiting, though.
For years, my sister-in-law has had terrible pain in her shoulder. She went to doctor after doctor, who tried various things, different approaches. Nothing helped. She just hurt a lot. Finally, someone saw a bone spur on an x-ray. She recently had surgery, and they found numerous bones spurs (which hadn't shown up on the x-rays) as well as a torn rotator cuff. So I guess that some things just don't show up on tests, or people don't see them, or something like that.
I'm babbling. I'm tired.
My supervisor hasn't called me back. Shoot. I hope someone can work for me on Tuesday. Then again, maybe I'll be feeling better by then.
Hey, it could happen!
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