Feb. 06, 2007 ~ Pain
I am sick of pain. Pain when I go to sleep, pain when I wake up, and pain almost every moment in between. Since sometime in December. This is a fibromyalgia "flare," though it's lasting longer than usual. Maybe because the stress is lasting longer than usual, and there is a link between stress and flares.
It's not so much that my work is stressful, though it undeniably is. But deep down I know that I could handle it better. Not let things get to me. Work is not really the problem; I think it's my reaction to things at work. I need to make adjustments to what "is," instead of being upset that things aren't different.
Sometimes I feel like my head is going to explode, and I just want to scream. But without a doubt, that would hurt. More head pain and jaw pain and... you get the idea.
Today I rushed all day to meet a deadline, with constant interruptions, and barely made it out the door in time to get to a (weight loss) meeting in a neighboring town. When I came home and walked in the door tonight, I wanted to collapse, just lie down and not get up till morning. Instead I fixed a simple meal, took a shower, and will soon take something for pain, to help me sleep. The dishes can wait till morning.
Things could be better, but things could be worse.
Soldier Boy plans to go back to Iraq soon. He's still here, though, training. Says it's hard. Strains his brain.
Well.
I just pray he stays safe.
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