Mar. 28, 2003 ~ Things change
To paraphase the message I received tonight, Soldier Boy and his unit may not be returning at the planned time, because of the war requirements. Not unexpected, but still disappointing. I guess I can stop counting down the days now.
On the piano in our living room, in a place of honor beside the photos of College Boy and his prom date, and Soldier Boy in his uniform, is a photo of a sweet young brown-haired girl in uniform. The daughter of one of my oldest friends, I love her like my own babies. She has just received a letter ordering her to report soon for an all-day physical. She was in the Army, and thought she was done with the Army, but it looks like the Army may not be done with her. She is considered "inactive reserves." I suspect that may change soon. But maybe they will find her medically unfit for duty? Probably not, but could she possibly just have a tiny little something wrong with her, not enough that she was really, actually sick or even inconvenienced, but just something not totally perfect, so they shake their heads, pat her on the back, and send her on the way?
"Nope, sorry, we're afraid you just won't do. Go back to your regular life."
One can hope.
She was in a unit that is currently on the front lines. My guess is that if she is called to serve, it would be stateside. I can't even imagine her going to Iraq.
Like I get to choose...
I've written a lot of entries since beginning this journal, but one piece in particular has caused me to rethink a few things. Like writing entries when my feelings are hurt or I'm feeling really emotional. That's not such a good plan. It may be therapeutic to get it all out, but once out, it might be best to just set it aside and think about it for awhile. Because hurt feelings lead to self-pity, and that is just so unpleasant. And it doesn't feel very good, either.
The good news is that what was written can be edited. Better late than never, after all. So if you notice that what you thought you'd read... seems to have changed, chances are that you're right.
Not long ago I noticed in my stats that it appeared someone had viewed just about every entry here. Based on the numbers, it sure looked that way. And I wondered what they were thinking, while they read. It could go either way, you know. They could hate it or not. They could be looking at it as an example of what not to do when writing a journal.
I'm just finishing another round of steroids, which is good. The finishing part. Hate to admit it, but I think they do affect me emotionally. Ah, well. Tomorrow will be a better day.
Maybe I'll tell you about my day at the vet's. A sad day, indeed.
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