Dec. 23, 2002 ~ Rainy days and Mondays
It's cold, gray, and wet outside, and it's Monday inside and out.
My uncle has turned a corner and is doing better; he is out of ICU. My husband's mother is not doing so well. He and College Boy stayed with her well into the night, then arrived home about 3:00 AM. She hasn't been doing well for a while, actually, and though my husband knows this intellectually, it's still terrifying to think of losing one's mother. No matter what our age. Mother is the one who has known us the longest, and who always loved us best. Mothers are proud of us when we learn to tie our shoes, when we graduate from high school, when we marry or have children... mothers are proud of us just for being in the world.
Yesterday I wrote a letter to my Soldier Boy, telling him, very clearly, how much I love him and how proud I am of him. We can't say those things often enough. And College Boy is so precious to me, too. Saturday, when it seemed that the world was falling apart, he was right there holding me, telling me it would be okay. And finally, it was.
Husband's mother has had several strokes, large and small, these past few years. At first, we worried that the end might be near. Then it began to seem that this... illness, was a way of life which could last for awhile. So when the phone calls come, we are calm. Or... I am calm. Husband still takes it pretty hard, just as one would expect. But we've been through so many late-night mad dashes to the hospital, each time thinking that this might be the last time. And the truth is, it might be. We never know what's coming next, or how much time any of us have left. So I try to support Husband in being with her as much as possible, particularly when she is ill.
We are hoping for the best.
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