Dec. 13, 2002 ~ Yesterday
was not such a great day. It was tough. Today was better, mostly because I was busy all day and was around people. When I am overwhelmed by emotion, I tell myself to get a grip, or as Soldier Boy would say, "tighten up." But it doesn't help. Bossing myself around doesn't seem to work as well as it once did. There are other things happening in my life, other stressors, and perhaps it's a cumulative thing. Bunch of little things adding up; the straw that broke the camel's back. But I'm not a camel, and I don't want to break. I want to be strong, and I want to smile.
Every day I look in my mailbox and think, "Maybe THIS will be the day." But it isn't. It hasn't been, yet. Maybe Soldier Boy is doing the same thing, in his own way. He might be wondering why he hasn't heard from us yet; could be he's sent lots of letters and they just haven't made it here. Well. They'll probably get here one of these days soon. Or not so soon. But they'll get here eventually, and I'll save them all in a special box, just like I saved his letters from Basic.
I keep thinking that I should start addressing and mailing Christmas cards, and I keep not doing it. That was an awkward construction, wasn't it? Let's try it again. I should send out cards, but I haven't done it. I should write long overdue letters to friends, but I haven't done that, either. It's like everything is on hold. But tonight I will address five cards. And tomorrow I will try to do the same. If I do that every day, they will all get done. They will probably arrive on time, but even if they don't, that's okay.
Off I go to address those cards!
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