Jan. 16, 2004 ~ Changes
It�s funny how these things happen. On May 25, 2001, both of my sons made major changes in their lives. College Boy graduated from high school, and Soldier Boy entered the Army. It felt as if I was losing them both, in a way. Turn a page, a chapter ends. Turn another page, a chapter begins.
And how odd it is that once again, I am losing them both. Figuratively. College Boy is moving away to continue his education at a four-year university. He and Husband are on their way there now, moving a truckload and carload of furniture and other things. They�ll come home tonight, and Son will work Monday and Tuesday. That�s the end of his job here, and anytime after that, he can leave for his new school. Classes will start on the 20th. Soldier Boy is leaving for Iraq. If you are reading this, it means that Soldier Boy is already there. I do not, will not, write about deployments until after the fact. It�s a safety issue.
I talked to him yesterday, and hope to talk to him again today, because it will probably be the last time I hear his voice for several months. He had expected communications and general conditions to be better than in Afghanistan. Unfortunately, that will not be the case. Where he is going, there will be no phones, computers, or even a PX. It�s going to be pretty tough. HE is tough. I am not. Not really. Afghanistan was hard, believe me. But his going to Iraq� that is going to be a real challenge for all of us. For him, especially, but also for all of us left behind, those who love him and care about him. My cousin�s son is in Iraq, and for that reason, I�ve tried hard not to listen to news about the happenings there. That�s nearly impossible, of course, but I just try to filter it out. Picture the three monkeys� see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil. That�s me with my eyes and ears covered. Don�t know about the �speak no evil� part, but I try.
At any rate, some information slips through, and I hate hearing about the casualties. But this past week, knowing that Son would be leaving soon, I visited the website of the newspaper published in the city where he lives. Being as it�s a military town, military happenings are big news. I wanted to read about the deployments, and I did, but it was hard to ignore the stories about the casualties, those soldiers killed when their helicopters were shot down. Two crashes in one week. Soldiers killed from Son�s Division. I�ve lost count of how many (members of his Division) have died since the �war ended.� 26?
The previous words were written a few days ago, and Son is indeed in Iraq. I have no idea where. College Boy has moved to his big city not too far from here, and this morning he cooked his very first meal in his new home. Pancakes.
Things have been understandably hectic here, these past couple of weeks, with both boys making such big life changes. Soldier Boy called, shortly before he left to come home on leave, to ask how I would feel about a dog. Hmmmm. He sounded very hopeful, leading me to suspect that he already had the dog, and was hoping I would agree to keep her. Ahem. We have been interviewing dogs for quite awhile now, trying to decide on just the right one, but it seemed that one was about to descend upon us, arriving in a pickup truck along with our son. The two of them arrived on a cold, rainy day. Husband is absolutely opposed to dogs in the house, so the poor baby (did I not mention that she is a puppy?) had to stay outside. She did not endear herself to me when she terrorized the barn cats, and when she frightened the cows and a heifer ran through the barbed wire fence.
But Soldier Boy seems very devoted to her, so of course we agreed to keep her. He tentatively asked what I thought of her, and I carefully began with, "She's really very sweet..."
"But?," he asked.
"But... she's not an ideal farm dog."
I was not exactly sure if she was his dog or our dog, and I asked about this. He asked what I preferred. I asked what HE preferred. He allowed as how he would like for her to be his dog, and he would appreciate it if we could take care of her in his absence, and when he comes home, he'll take her to live with him. Being a mom, I fell for this. I mean, he probably really believes it himself. But thinking about it, I don't really see how he could take care of a dog, given his circumstances. But what do I know?
So we have a grand-puppy, and she is incredibly cute. She's five to six months old, and her name is Meadow. She goes with me to the pond everyday, where she races around like crazy, then comes bounding back towards me, just like the kids did when they were little. I can almost hear them saying, "Mommy, Mommy! Look at me, look at me!" Meadow and I also walk to the mailbox, and she helps me feed the heifers in the morning. The horses seem a little hostile and resentful, but they are probably just jealous. They're used to being the babies, and now there's a new baby demanding my attention.
She has gone with me to the post office and to the video store, but she only went along for the ride. She stayed in the truck. She hides behind me when the cows or horses scare her. Well.
Back to Soldier Boy... I don't know why we watch these sad things when he is here, but we do. A while back we all sat in a darkened living room and watched "Saving Private Ryan," while unseen tears slid down my cheeks. This visit, we watched "Black Hawk Down," which is certainly not the best movie to watch when your son is getting ready to go overseas. And when he first got here, we watched a DVD produced by his Battalion, about their time in Afghanistan. There was some footage on there I hadn't expected, film (from a Canadian TV station) of the World Trade Center being attacked. It was very emotional, watching that with our son, because he wasn't with us on 9-11; he was at his post, which was locked down.
It was good to have him here with us, though his leave was much too short. And things were a little tense. I tried to be big and brave, but every time I thought about him leaving, my eyes would get all itchy and watery. Darned allergies.
So we got a new grand-puppy, and eventually put Soldier Boy on a plane (he left his truck here), and prepared for College Boy's leaving.
It's been a busy time.
I hope you all had very happy holidays.
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