Aug. 19, 2003 ~ Burnout
Rough weekend. Nothing awful, just awfully busy. I think Husband and I may be experiencing caregiver burnout. He probably has the worst of it, since he's now doing many of the tasks I am no longer able to do. And this weekend was a challenge for us both. Husband wound up moving and unloading 350 bales of hay. The original plan was to have a fellow deliver it to us and stack it in the barns. But the fellow has bad back problems, and we wound up paying a slightly lower price and moving the hay ourselves. This was tricky, and involved borrowing trailers and having them back at a certain time. That meant that Husband had to unload them quickly, and in near hundred-degree heat, that was no fun. It's a lot hotter than that inside a barn, too. It would have been easier to find someone who could deliver hay, and buy it from them, but we wanted to help the guy with the bad back.
Husband had no sooner finished unloading hay on Saturday, when we saw a stray cow in the backyard. Turns out that she belonged to a neighbor who was out of town. The easy thing to do would be to chase her off our property and shut the gate behind her. But we don't do "easy," so of course we wanted to put her back where she belonged, with her calf. We would want someone to do that for us. It was nearly dark and not a simple task, with just the two of us trying to get her back home. We walked behind her and tried to guide her in the right direction, but she took all the wrong turns. We worried that someone would come rushing around the corner and hit the cow or us, but it eventually all worked out. We put her back in the pasture, and her calf practically attacked her, he was so hungry. Don't know how long she had been out wandering, but her baby had mooed himself hoarse. We checked the neighbor's fences, with only one flashlight for the two of us; we couldn't find where the cow had gotten out. The neighbor's friends assured us that they would check the fences the next day, too, and keep an eye on the cow situation. She stayed put. The neighbor arrived home on Sunday, and we still haven't heard from them. Odd, that. Maybe he plans to talk to us in church next Sunday; maybe not. This is the same neighbor who accidentally set our pasture on fire, and never said a word about that, either, until asked.
Throughout all this hay and cow business, our injured friend needed various things, and he always seemed to need them at night, or when we were right in the middle of doing something. It's tough to be sick or hurt and to have to depend on others, or ask for help, and he has always been so good about helping us. The "angel" me smiled and was gracious, and came when he called. But the "human" me is just so tired, and is ready to stop taking care of everybody else. I feel a little (more than a little) guilty for feeling that way. Our friend is doing much, much better now, and thinks he will start driving and running his own errands now. It's good to see him feeling so good, and I'm not sure how much longer I could have played nurse.
Our pastures are so crispy and dry. If we don't get some rain soon, we're going to have to start feeding hay. sigh. Let's hope not. I guess we're going to need to buy a few more round bales, though we sure don't have the money. That's nothing new. Cows still have to eat.
Oh! An old friend was at church on Sunday. She doesn't live nearby, but she likes our church and sometimes makes the drive over here. As Husband was busy with hay and her family was occupied elsewhere, she came over for lunch and spent the afternoon. It was so good to see her. She asked if she could bring her chainsaw and chop firewood, and she is welcome to take all she wants. It would be good for both of us. With acres of woods, there are always trees that are dead or dying. We are happy for someone to be able to use the wood, and it gets it out of our way.
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