Jun. 12, 2003 ~ Thursday
Collge Boy had a quiet birthday celebration yesterday. He had to work and go to school, which hardly seems fair, but there you go. Such is the way of the world. When he came home, we had cake and some un-birthday-ly burritos. There will be a bit of delayed gratification, as we have his official birthday dinner this weekend or the next. The rule in our family is that the birthday person gets to pick the restaurant, and he has already chosen. I asked if it counted that he and his dad had just eaten there last weekend. The look I got, told me that it had not!
I am sitting here at the computer, NOT EATING. Not one bite! After yesterday's accidental plum, I'm almost afraid to go outside. A stray blackberry or errant plum could jump into my mouth!
There are notes everywhere. On the computer monitor, bathroom mirror, refrigerator, microwave, doors... you name it. "Don't eat!"
My brother would have been 51 today. Do you remember things like that? Do you look at a calendar, realize the date has significance, and then recall the special days of those who have passed on? Without trying, I also remember the dates when loved ones have died, sometimes years and years after the fact. I try to banish those thoughts when they come, preferring to remember the person's life, not their death. But sometimes...
A dear friend recently lost her brother, quite unexpectedly, and she is grieving deeply. It's hard when you don't have the chance to say good-bye. People say their farewells at memorial services and in their prayers, but so often they have regrets, and think of things they wish they had said. If they'd only known.
My brother was planning to come to our house for the Christmas holidays, and had called the night before. We had a good talk; he seemed very happy and at peace. He'd just come back from a wonderful trip, and he told me all about that. We talked a long time, longer than usual, and I'm glad. An accident claimed his life the next morning. There are things I would have said, had I known, but I'm grateful that we had the chance to talk. Other people are not so fortunate, and are left with "if onlys."
In my family, even the men now end every conversation, note or email with some version of "I love you." Because you never know.
Another thing we do is write letters. When people ask me what I want for my birthday, Mother's Day, etc., I usually say, "Write me a letter." This applies to faraway friends and also to immediate family. There have been countless cards throughout the years, and most of them have gotten lost along the way. But I still have the special letters from loved ones. Husband and I recently celebrated our anniversary, and I wrote him a letter, telling him how much he means to me. Son got a similar letter yesterday. These letters often recall special moments and memories. They are sometimes difficult to write, because, well, just because. But I'm always glad to have written them, or to have received one, and I can see that others cherish their letters, too.
Guess that's all for today. Thanks for stopping by.
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