Aug. 01, 2002 ~ End of the road
Well, maybe. We're trying to prepare ourselves for that. In the past, when pets have gotten sick, there has been no question about what had to be done. At most, we could delay a few days. But with Misha, it's been a long, slow, painful process, in which we have lost a little bit more each day. Oddly enough, this makes it hard to know when to let go. There has been no sudden turn for the worse; instead, there has been a gradual decline, with changes so small that we almost grow used to them. After awhile, it almost seems as if cats, by definition, are sick. But then I pet a healthy one, and that one feels solid and sturdy, and has a shiny coat and eyes. Pepper or Squeak don't wobble or act like they're going to fall when touched, and I remember... that's what Misha was like.
Misha had a thing about getting on the bed at night, sleeping right by my feet, right between me and Husband. One day I realized that he was no longer doing that, but couldn't remember when he had stopped. Sometimes he comes into the bedroom and looks at the bed, as if he's considering it, but doesn't jump up. He just doesn't seem to do "up" as much as he used to.
His routine has always been to have one spoonful of canned food when he gets his insulin shots, and he's always looked forward to that. How do I know? Because he would come and hunt me down when it was time for his shot, would get right in my face until I got up to take care of it. Now he ACTS as if he wants his food, but he doesn't eat it. He still thinks he wants it, but he leaves it untouched on his plate.
Sometimes he moves very slowly, sinks to the ground, then rolls to his side. I'll think, "Oh, no... it's almost time." And he will get up and rub his head against my leg and purr, wanting to be picked up.
We've had him at least 14 years, which is more than a quarter of my life. I just can't imagine not seeing his face every morning. But pet owners... we all know that's coming, from the day we bring home that soft tiny kitten or cute wiggly puppy. We know their days are short and sweet.
My son is having a hard time with this, too. Last night he said, "Misha, you are such a good cat." And I said, "Yes, he is. He's been a wonderful cat. And we'll see him again someday. But I think he's going to be God's cat for awhile."
I don't know if that last part is true, but I hope it is. It makes me feel better to think so.
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