Jan. 26, 2002 ~ It's been awhile
since I last wrote. Lots of news, or maybe it's just a small amount of news, but it will be affecting us in major ways.
The other morning when I went out to feed the horses, it started pouring down rain while I was in the barn. As I stood there in the doorway, waiting for the rain to stop or at least slow down, I couldn't help but think of how little control we really have over certain aspects of our lives. We can't control the weather, that's for sure. And we think we have it made, in terms or jobs or relationships or living arrangements or whatever, but then something happens and it's a great big "Uh-oh." We realize that we aren't exactly in charge, after all.
The three of us, husband, son and I, were watching the news on Tuesday night. It was the saddest story... a young man, about my son's age, lost control of his vehicle, which then rolled over and landed upside down. Although he was wearing his seat belt, the boy was killed. But there was another story that didn't make the news, a story that happened in that very same town, on that very day. Another young man was on his way to school when he lost control of his truck, which rolled over and landed right side up in the grassy median, instead of in oncoming traffic. That young man was also wearing his seat belt, and luckily, other than a few scrapes, bumps and bruises, he was unharmed.
The boy in that second story, the one with the happy ending, that was my son. X-rays and CT scans showed no major injuries. He only has to contend with the soreness and pain, and the emotional aftermath. He's going to be okay... he's going to be fine. You can't imagine how grateful we are. I think back to another time, not that long ago, when there was another phone call, about another accident, and I learned that my only brother had been killed. We are so very thankful that our boy is going to be okay.
He's sore, but he went back to school yesterday. Since he is truckless (the truck may be a total loss; we're waiting for word) and on pain pills, I drove him there. It's a ninety-mile round trip, so I stayed all day, while he attended classes. We're taking it one day at a time, but I will probably be driving him there next week, too. It will be a challenge, as I work part-time, in 3 different cities. Son's school is in a totally different city, too. Oh, the joys or rural living! It will work out somehow, though, because it has to.
This is all affecting me in ways large and small -- lack of sleep, worry, etc. I had a crappy day at work, two days after the wreck. I made a mistake, a big one, and apologized profusely, offering to do all kinds of things to make amends. Most people were so kind and gracious, but two people were upset -- one was actually angry. How dare I let my petty personal problems inconvenience her! Well. What can you say?
Want to hear the other news? That was the worst of it, don't worry. When you think of coming so close to losing a beloved child, everything else is small stuff.
Soldier Boy called last night. Their commanding officer thinks that they probably will NOT be going to Afghanistan any time soon. They'll be on alert for a couple of more weeks, but for now, they don't expect to go anywhere. Whew.
That was the good part.
Maybe I've mentioned this next bit already; I can't remember. Husband's company is being sold. The company where he has worked for more than twenty years. The sale should be final sometime in the next couple of months. Until then, no one knows who will keep their jobs, or if they'll be making the same or similar pay... or what the insurance situation will be, etc. Isn't life interesting?
Our savings are just about depleted, which I'm guessing puts us about even with the majority of Americans. We had to put Son's tuition and books on a credit card. We're borrowing from Peter to pay Paul, shifting money from high-interest to low-interest credit cards, making payments instead of paying things in full. It feels like we owe everybody. The medical bills are still coming in from when Husband stepped on that nail, and soon the most recent hospital bills will arrive. Year after year of drought has taken its toll on our resources. Many of our neighbors have gone out of business or have had to sell their farms.
I feel like we're just waiting... waiting for the next bad thing. Or maybe it's already here? Bucky was limping this morning. If I haven't introduced him, Bucky is one of the horses. He's foundered before. What's founder? It's a serious veterinary problem, said to be the number two cause of death in horses. Founder affects the animals' feet, and Bucky had a near-fatal founder, a couple of years back. For what we spent to save him, we could have easily bought another horse. But this time we don't have that money, and we already owe the vet, so I'm not sure what we can do. I've given him medicine and we'll hope for the best. Come to think of it, that's mostly what we did the last time. Maybe he just hurt himself while running in the pasture. Maybe it's just a sprain. I may call our farrier, see if he has any thoughts. It doesn't LOOK like founder at this point, so we'll keep our fingers crossed.
What else? The coyotes are still around, lurking in the pastures in broad daylight, just waiting for a calf to wander away from the herd. Lovely.
Hannah Mae seems to have fully recovered from her recent troubles, and we would probably take her to auction, but the farm truck is the one that was wrecked. We'll need to put a trailer hitch on my truck, the Sunday go-to-meetin' truck, and then maybe we can sell a cow or calf or two.
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I signed on with a temporary agency this week. What a joke. I've done temp work in the past and loved it. It suited me perfectly. Plenty of work back then, and I was offered permanent jobs at nearly every place I worked. But times have changed. They told me that their business is down by about two-thirds since September 11th, that they have no assignments to offer anyone at the moment. They have one big client... they usually had about a hundred temp workers stationed there. Now they have one. Just one worker, instead of a hundred. It's like that everywhere, I guess. But hearing about it and facing it head-on are two different things.
It will all be okay, one way or another. We've made it through worse, and we'll make it through this.
Anyway... it's a beautiful day outside. The sun is shining, the cows are eating hay, the cats are playing in the barn, and all is well, more or less. I've loaded up the truck and am going to haul all the feed sacks to the recycling place today. Here in Small-Town USA, "Recycling" only happens once a month, so I'd best get over there.
Take care.
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